I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
