He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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