I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
