You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
