Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
