i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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