Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
