ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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