WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish i was in the wii world.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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