That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
