im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
