guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
