Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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