Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wish i was in the wii world.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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