He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Randomize
