Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
