dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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