i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
