Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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