I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
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it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
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Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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