im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
