hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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