doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize