i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
