Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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