Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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