Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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