Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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