The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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