Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
