So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
