I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
