Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
