If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
