she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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