ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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