I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
