thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
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what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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