i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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