covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize