Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
