He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
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He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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