Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
