My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
