Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
