Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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