wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
