When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
