I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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