I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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