u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
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My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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