whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
