A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
