you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
