Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
This house was built for laser tag.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize
