Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
