Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
