He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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