what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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