I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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