Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
