okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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