even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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