I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
