Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
