I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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