Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
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But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
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Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize